Relationships: Student Find a Sense of Self
The transition from adolescence into adulthood drastically shapes an individual. As teens are expected to wield greater responsibility and independence, they begin to discover what their priorities are and what beliefs they hold as most important. Being content and grounded with such priorities ultimately establishes more stable relationships and fulfilling lifestyles.
According to Advanced Placement Psychology teacher John Wheeler, a positive perception of oneself provides the foundation for self discovery. Only when meaningful introspection and constant improvement are achieved can a healthy relationship with oneself eventually solidify.
“To develop a relationship with [yourself], you first have to be self-aware,” Wheeler said. “Some people are more honest with themselves, and they know what their strengths and weaknesses are.”
Wheeler also argues that teenagers must claim full responsibility for their actions to properly build their characters and help them mature in relationships.
“If people are uncomfortable around others, they will go around the situation to avoid [the problem], instead of facing the situation head on,” Wheeler said.
This avoidance breeds conformity and a lack of self-confidence, causing others to never truly know who they really are and what they are capable of achieving. Lacking self-confidence can induce students to seek solutions, both mild and extreme, elsewhere.
Safe school counselor Christine Lopez, who has accrued eight years of experience at Peninsula helping students with their personal problems, advises students on how to find solutions to problems such as stress and depression. She says that in addition to positive self-identification, many other factors, such as family background, cultural values and expectations from other people, impact relationship building with other people.
“If someone does not feel good about who they are or does not have a lot of confidence, it will definitely impact [what kind of] relationships they have.” Lopez said. “How they treat the world and other people [around them] will also alter their relations.
Wheeler explains that self-esteem is a crucial factor in the health of an individual’s conscience. Low self-esteem, in severe cases, leads to depression and self-hatred. According to Child Mind Institute Children’s Mental Health, the chances of teens engaging in risky behavior, such as drug abuse and alcohol consumption, increase when depression is left untreated.
Some sports and other extracurricular activities equip students with active outlets to constantly propel themselves into self-improvement. For senior Emily Chung, swimming has enabled her to consistently set her sights above the masses and reach for a higher sense of purpose.
“With swimming, I have learned to become very determined and highly selfmotivated,” Chung said. “There are times when I am not satisfied with my results and it is easy to start doubting myself, but through the sport I’m a lot mentally stronger.”
Similar to Chung, students engage in various activities to pursue their interests, to build relationships, and to discover more about themselves. Once a strong sense of self-confidence and identification is established, one can truly understand oneself and begin to cultivate healthy relationships with others.
